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Wednesday, September 10th, 2003
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10:52 pm
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To see her lay there gently breathing is an inspiration to my soul. Her laughter is music to my ears. Her touch is the fiery star in the heavens. My head swims with love when she is near, my Kimbo.
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| Saturday, September 6th, 2003
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10:20 pm
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| Sunday, August 31st, 2003
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10:16 pm - Quote of the Day
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"Yes, words to me are like a Rubix cube in the hands of a bored mathematician; I'm always twisting them." - CMS
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| Tuesday, August 5th, 2003
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11:00 pm - Back in action.
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Kim and I spent our first day together since her return. We went to Sambo's, the grocery store, downtown shopping, and the video store. Every moment was new and exciting. My attitude change has really seemed to help.
We rented the movie we saw on our first date. It was very nostalgic. Then I decided to go home.
I suppose that's all for the better, as I'm quite tired, and I have a full day tomorrow. Hopefully, she'll be up at a reasonable hour.
current mood:  content
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| Monday, August 4th, 2003
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8:09 am - On ecology
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"Junior eco-buffs are a curse. I had a friend once who used to make me feel like I was squandering the nation's resources every time I spent more than 20 minutes in the shower. My feeling was, some people squandered more resources than me just by breathing." Cecil Adams, The Straight Dope, To save energy, should you turn lights off or leave them on? 11-Apr-1980
current mood:  amused
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7:34 am - I know a boat you can get on!
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Kim woke me up at 645. I was glad to hear from her. She seemed happy to talk to me and she bought me some guava jam (but no toast!), so I was quite relieved . I don't want her to be mad at me. Anyways, her flight is delayed, so I might not get to see her until 700PM. Rats!
So here I am, up all early with a lot of time before then... almost 12 hours. I still plan to go to the beach, but that's not until this afternoon. Hopefully I can get something productive done today, like wrapping up Kim's SECRET PRESENTS! I hope she likes them... :-/
current mood:  awake
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12:37 am - Hello again!
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Can't sleep again. Oh well, I'm used to it. It may have something to do with my current normal sleeping patterns. When a person wakes up past 12 PM her or she has no hope for getting to bed before 2 AM. Ah, it is a self-perpetuating occurance!
Exercise may help with that. Today, as with every day in the last several weeks, Peter and I went to the beach. The waves were awesome today. I caught quite a few, but the water was very rough. The surf tossed me about like a bully shaking a soda bottle. I do feel very worn out, physically, but that's not the limiting factor with this; my mind is still racing a mile a minute. My days have consisted mainly of sleeping late, playing Gamecube, going to Peter's, playing X-Box, swimming in the ocean, playing X-box, then staying up horribly late on the internet. It is such a great place to waste time.
My honey is coming home tomorrow. She has been gone for three weeks. I'm very excited. It has been far too long. I bought her some presents, but they probably aren't good enough.
I'm still having problems with my class schedule for next quarter. It really has given me a lot to stress over. Hopefully I will have this cleared up before September.
OH! I am going to learn to SCUBA dive. I figure that I had better learn how if I wanna keep up, and do all that. I found a pretty cheap place to do it, so hopefully I'll be certified by the end of August.
That's all for now. I do feel sort of tired, so I might try to sleep! That's all for now. Peace!
current mood:  exhausted
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| Sunday, January 19th, 2003
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9:51 pm
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I'm up at Stanford for the weekend. Interesting. Let me start at the beginning.
I have been planning this trip for two weeks, or something, and on Friday directly after school, I left. 315 mi. later, and 4 hours and 30 minutes, I was in Palo Alto, and on my way to Serra, Tommy's dorm. The first night I got here, I tossed a couple out, and me and Tommy got retarded. The dorm food tasted like shit. (Actually, just the grilled cheese did!)
So, I had sex with Crissy on the second night after long conversation with her and Tommy about homosexual ideation as it pertains to Tommy. I think we arrived at the conclusion that tommy is ready to accept his repressed feelings towards men. I hope this leads him in the right direction. Yeah, so, now I'm being forced at gunpoint to write in my journal.
Today, Tommy and I went to San Francisco. It was awesome. We had stayed up until 6 AM in Crissy's room, and had decided to sleep in the lounge until 8. At 8 AM, Tommy "spontaneously awakened," and commenced to try to wake me up. His attempts to do such were unsuccessful. He went on a walk, and when he came back, he brought my bag and all my shit down, and poked me with an instrument so small that I hope it was his finger until I woke up. He started giggling when I sat up because I was completely disoriented, and I looked like a bum because I was sleeping with my bag of stuff. Then we hopped in the car and headed towards SF.
We parked in a lot downtown, and we walked through Chinatown to Fisherman's Wharf. By this time, I was quite hungry, but I didn't say anything. We saw the World-Famous Bushman of Fame, and, even though he didn't try to scare us, Tommy made me stand there for 20 minutes and watch him jump out at people. The sick fuck... and this was after he refused to let me sleep for five minutes! Grrrrrr..... So, I was hoping we would eat at one of three-hundred seafood restaurants on Fisherman's Wharf, but instead he says, "let's go to the 'Out,' man!" Damnit... So I went and I sulked, and I got no Chinese food, either.
Sleep
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| Monday, December 23rd, 2002
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7:02 pm - Winter break
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| Thursday, September 26th, 2002
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11:09 pm - UCSB
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So, I started school today. Yeah, I know, it's pretty amazing. I've been out of school pretty much since June 1st, so, it's been a looong time with out order. Not only that, but I am now an employee of a state-funded program, and essentially an employee of SB City College. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. I think what's in order is a brief re-introduction of you, my faithful readers, to me, your not-so-faithful journalist. (A pun!) Much has changed since I last put any energy into making this a respectable journal, and much of it I wish I had written about after it happened, but I will do my best to recall some of the more major, and disclosable events
I will just say some brief things about today, then I have to get to German homework. I promise that I will do my best to complete a series of posts pursuant to all those teasers I put in my opening paragraph. I began classes at UCSB today. My first college class (NB: Not college-level) was Math 3B this morning at 8 AM. That's integral calculus, for those not up to date on the SB schedule of classes. Professor Vitali Kapovitch- thus is called my teacher of math, and he's from Mother Russia. There are about 200 people in my class, too. Pretty exciting stuff. The hw is due Thursday.
Then, I had German. The prof. spoke exclusively in German, except for when he spoke in English or some other language.
Which brings me back to the homework. I must do it, so good night to all.
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| Monday, July 29th, 2002
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3:18 pm
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I sang yesterday morning in the 0930 service at the First Congressional Church. We sang the Biebl Ave Maria. I saw somebody whom I haven't seen since elementary school, and she was looking quite, quite well. We spent the entire service staring at each other. I think she wanted me. Maybe I should go back next Sunday! :-)
Also yesterday was my brother's birthday party.
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| Wednesday, July 24th, 2002
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11:17 pm
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"Perchance he for whom this bell tolls may be so ill, as that he knows not it tolls for him."
-Donne, Meditation XVII
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| Wednesday, July 3rd, 2002
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10:43 pm
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Tonight we had our reheasal for the 4th concert tomorrow. The music was easy, and this is the 4th time i'm seeing it. haha.
I found out that in memoriam for the people who died in the terrorist attacks, we are performing the Mozart Requiem on 9/11 with the Santa Barbara Symphony at the Arlington. It's a free concert. This will be very powerful for me, not just because of the anniversary, not because the Mozart requiem is powerful music, but also because this is what I sang in my first concert 4 years ago.
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10:38 pm
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monday I had my symphony rehearsal. it was fun. I think that I could almost be a professional flute player. I really need to calm down and decide what I want to do! hehe
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| Wednesday, June 26th, 2002
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3:26 am - UCSB ready... almost
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I received in the last week my registration materials for UCSB. I quickly started pouring over all the catalog, degree requirements, and other stuff, and became sick with fear at the realization that I didn't understand anything before my eyes. As one might have suspected, when faced with this lost feeling, I abandoned the reading, put everything away, and refused to look at it for an entire day after that. When I finally had the courage to reopen the envelope, it motivated me to go on the internet and gather information from my prospective major(s). This rattled more cages. I wanted so much to major in music, but when I read the major requirements, I suddenly fell in love with physics. I printed out the courses for both. At this point, I was really screwed. I knew I needed to talk to a counselor, but didn't want to make an appointment. I started cleaning out all my mail, looking for something without knowing it, and I came across a pile of old mail, among which was a brochure for Summer orientation. I tore it open, and saw that the dates were rapidly approaching. I circled the first dates (mid-July) after they would have time to process my request and jammed it in the mail. (I had received this months ago!) I felt better about that, but still I wanted to straighten out my major and schedule crap. I figured out what i needed to take, what I've already taken, and how it would help me. I was surprised and pleased to discover that I would enter with a minimum of 24 units. If I passed all my AP tests, I will have 60 units. Sophomore standing is granted at 40 units or more, so I could fail two entire tests, plus the calc. test and still have soph. standing. Groovy. I then thought about my options:
Scenario 1 (Optimum): I double major in physics (BS) and music (BA)
Scenario 2: I major in physics and minor in music.
This may surprise anybody who knows me, but... it's my belief that you don't need a degree to be an opera singer. i know many cases where a singer launched his career after being let's say a sous-chef or accountant. Also, it's appearant to those around me that I enjoy science, but what many don't know is that before I developed an interst in music, I loved science. I wanted the white coat, and all the exotic glassware and chemicals. I watched "Bill Nye, the Science Guy" religiously, and poured over science books intended for people far beyond my grade level. I remember when I got my first chemisty set, I sat in the back yard opening every little jar one at a time, and smelling the contents. I could identify Cobalt (II) chloride (CoCl v2) at a whiff. hehe. Alas, it was my first love... but I will be so upset if I have to ignore my passion for music and minor in it. Damn, damn, damn! There are a couple more things that affected my decision. Had I got into USC, i would have majored in music without hesitation, but the UCSB program for voice is, in my opinion, rather lacking. However, for physics, it's one of the best in the nation. Secondly, I got scared that as a music major alone I would be incapable of supporting the lifestyle I hope and plan to live in the future. God only knows what the future holds. All I can do is make a rough outline of my expectations, and pursue goals.
I spent most of last night filling out a Master Promissory Note in order to be able to accept student loans from the federal government. My favorite summary of what I did is as follows: I signed away my left testicle. So, if I default on repaying the loans.............. oh well.
So I sit here, surrounded by papers, wondering what my future holds. I know I can succeed, but now I have to discover what I really want in life.
current mood:  indescribable
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| Tuesday, June 25th, 2002
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2:19 am
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Someday I will get this livejournal the way I want it. i'm going to try posting because I can't sleep, and some chick (Crystal) was bugging me to fix it again.
I was on a roll, until the stupid LJ client lost my really long post about Crystal taking me out for birthday. That pissed me off.
current mood:  determined
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| Sunday, June 23rd, 2002
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2:58 am
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I stumble out of bed today, woken from a disturbing dream about AP tests. It was 1115; surprisingly early for me recently. I go downstairs and get online, and who should be there, but Katie. I want some answers, but I choose to go about gettting them in a gentle manner. She was pretty tired, ok. She said that she was going to breakfast with Rachel, so I lost hope of seeing her for that day, and said goodbye. She told me she would call afterwards. I moped around for a while, read War and Peace a bit, then for some reason, i hopped in the shower around 2. When I got out, I was drying my hair when the phone rang. It was Katie, and she was downtown, so she asked if I would come meet her. I put my angst aside, and said yes.
I walked down the block not knowing what to say, how to act, or anything. I saw her, but she didn't see me. I sat down at the chair and said, "hello." She said hi, and we had the most strangly casual conversation for 5 minutes. We tried to figure out what to do, and it eventually was decided that we should walk. We soon developed the idea of seeing a movie, so we went to Paseo Nuevo and saw "Minority Report." I actually thought it was damn good, and Cruise dispatched his role decently well. We then were hungry, since the junior mints didn't fill anybody up. We got the car, and went to the waterfront. We were both pretty hungry, so we went to Endless Summer caf?.
We went to Shoreline park (i really love that place) and talked for a while. We shared mutual concerns while sitting on a picnic table looking at the ocean and the full moon. we moved to a park bench, and I let her do most of the talking. She talked about her boyfriend for three hours. I wish I could have listened with an entirely undiscriminating ear, but I could have probably done without hearing it. Maybe in the end, it was necessary as the final step of closure, but still, when a couple of old lesbians passed by us and said, "Oh, what a cute young couple," neither of us could ignore the irony and situational hilarity of the situation. But, it rather stung. At 2315, a sprinkler (as it was fated) scared us off the bench, and back into the car. I dropped her off at Edwin's house, where Rachel was, and that was the end of the night. I drove back home, pounding myself with the gravity of everything I had heard. Tomorrow, I think I'll be ok. Tonight I want to sleep in the darkness.
I did have fun, by the way. I'm not a complete sap.
current mood:  thoughtful
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| Saturday, June 22nd, 2002
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2:39 am - parade.
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So, Tommy (bless his heart) refused to let me wallow in misery alone today. Instead, we met at 11 AM for a brisk walk from Longs to downtown. We had a grand walk, and we agreed to get some food as soon as we were in town. I favored McDonald's, since my low funds would go quite far there but he had a better idea. He had a coupon for [mexican restaurant whose name i can't spell right now.] I agreed, and we jovially marched down state street, hoping to get a glimpse of all the people waiting to see the fag parade. I wanted to say hello to Crystal's grandmother when I saw her store was open, so I went inside... and suprise, there was Crystal! I saw her, and met her left-wing radical cousin Cindy, who called me a narc, then proceeded to dance naked in the street. Well, it wasn't that extreme, but her political views obviously differ from my own. I also met crystal's uncle who has perfect pitch. Crystal said to stop by on our way back. So tom and I ate, then started walking, saw most of the parade (which offended me), and turned around once we got to the wharf. At the thrift store, I got a bag-load of books, and tom got a wool suit. We stopped to see Crystal again, and Chase was with her. We chatted for awhile again, until Crystal lured tommy and me outside. All of a sudden, I feel something smash over my head, and i gaze in horror as the same happens to tom. Fortunately, it was just a confetti egg (which should be reserved only for Fiesta). Tommy and I kept her at bay with the water bottles in a threatening position. Since I was tired, I whined until Crystal drove us back to our car. it was just a few blocks, but tommy was pissed. Since Tom and I still had a few hours before he had to go eat, I drove him over to Ross to look for a black turtleneck to wear with his mafia suit. Then I dropped him off.
I went home and stayed up reading. Katie called that night, but my grandma said I wasn't there. Damn.
current mood:  shocked
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| Friday, June 21st, 2002
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2:24 am - Solstice
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So, Katie is visiting. She arrived yesterday, imagine that. It was very strange, because in her absence, I forced myself to forget all about her. It worked, too. Tuesday night, i couldn't sleep so I stayed up all night to watch the sunrise. Thursday, same thing. It was so strange, because all these repressed memories suddenly became so vivid. I remembered our very last outing. Certain bits of it stuck in my mind better than others. Damn ghosts.
So I waited all of today, hoping that she would call. She did not. I ended up spending most of today sleeping and eating. So much for the longest period of continuous sunlight of the year. It was ok, I like being ignored and missing barbecues... mmm, meat.
Good night, if I can sleep.
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I didn't do my pagan dance to the sun god...
current mood:  aggravated
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| Sunday, June 16th, 2002
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2:19 pm - 4) Robot project
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Our robot was beautifully designed by Mark. My group (Tommy, Danny, Caroline, and me) had a bit of difficulty in realizing this design. We toiled, and it looked pretty good, but we kept having technical problems; specifically, the motor could not lift the arm once it had clamped down on the ball. Sure, the ball was only .310 kg, but we must remember that the torque provided by the long, long lever (1.5 m, or so!) magnified the gravitational force on the ball, which caused a big problem (Archemedes was a bastard!) because the motor was not very strong to begin with. We unfortunately couldn't work out this problem, and as a result, when we ran the tests, we had to "help" the robot by starting the upward motion in the retrieve portion of the run. We ended up with a B due to the penalization.
I am a bit resentful because I believe we were the only group to actually use science to do what was required, (all the other groups just used a car to jam the ball up a ramp as fast as they could; it was highly unscientific) but I feel validated in that we went through the scientific process to solve the problem, and we explored the beauty, and consequently the problems of our physical world.
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cmscoby's journal
